What I'm Listening to now: JW by The Huntingtons
About 9 years ago I was sitting on the number 2 bus heading into college. On the bus with me that day was a boy I'd met at school. He wasn't really a friend of mine but he was someone I'd always had courteous conversation with. I was talking away spouting my usual nonsense when he said something that took me back. "You never change do you Colin." That put me in a good mood for the rest of that day, which was very rare during my college days. It made me so happy because I've never wanted to change. I've never felt the need to change. I've always had the attitude if you don't like me for who/what I am then its your problem not mine.
Recently I was having a chat with a friend who I used to work with. We were talking about how certain people we'd worked with seemed to change into dicks when they are promoted and given more power. I noted that I don't think I changed at all when I was promoted for a short time. He agreed with me and said "that's why everyone likes you." This made me swell with pride and to me proved that I am still the same person I was 9 years ago and that my mantra of "Growing Up Is For Quitters" is a fairly successful way to live my life.
Not changing doesn't just relate to my personality. For as long as I've been able I've always grown a beard. Not because I'm trying to be cool and make a fashion statement (its definitely neither of those, its ginger) but because I can't be bothered with keep shaving it off when I know it will just grow back. I've always been strong willed enough to shave when I've wanted to and not when work and my friends have harassed me into doing it. I don't care if I look better when I shave, I prefer having a beard.
When dressing myself I've always stuck with a style I've nicknamed "Hobo Chic." Its basically skate shoes (usually a bit tattered), a pair of jeans/combat shorts, a band t-shirt, a checkered shirt/hoody and a black hat. I'm told I don't dress especially well but I like it.
I've always felt that my refusal to change who I am was my biggest strength as a person. Until recently that is.....
Recently I have increasingly felt alone. This sounds ridiculous even to me. I am blessed to have more good friends than I can count. I recently started going to a lot of gigs by myself and even then I have never felt alone. The only reason I can think of for feeling like this is the lack of a girlfriend in my life. Its well known that I am pretty poor when it comes to getting girls. It's not that I'm shy around them, far from it in fact. Due to my love of gigs and sometimes having a lack of people to go to them with I've gained the confidence to talk to anyone. I can talk to girls with no problem at all, the problem is I always manage to get friend-zoned instantly no matter what. One time I was even told that I was like a brother to one girl I was interested in. A kick to the balls would have been a better turn down.
I don't think my lady problems come from my personality. I can get girls to like me in some way.
I've been told I'd be able to get a lot of women if I started to present myself better. A very close friend of mine has offered to take me into some "cool" shops and pick me out some clothes. I've agreed to have a look as I am intrigued to see what they pick out. You never know I might like it. Another friend has also told me I should dress better to get the girls. He then made me go through everything I was wearing and work out the price. According to him you get girls by wearing expensive clothes. Sounds like complete poppy-cock to me. Whilst I was becoming a bit open to trying some new things after hearing this it has made me revert back to the attitude about not changing who I am. Do I really want a girl who likes me because I'm wearing an over-priced pair of pink shorts? Would I rather stick with feeling slightly alone or should I sell out and be something I'm not for a bit of companionship?
Turns out what I think is my biggest strength could be my biggest weakness. Brilliant.
Song I'm listening to now: New Nail Bed by Big D & The Kids Table
Since I am also single and not in a position to know what girls want, I spoke to a female friend who doesn't know you and just saw your pic and this post. She made several points:
ReplyDelete- "yea, that is poppy cock. you can look nice without spending money :]"
- "i think sometimes change is good :P not change to conform but.. trying new things is part of life... you can still be yourself but buy a new pair of shoes :P ... you might like a new style even better."
- "girls will be ok with a scruffy guy but that..as it is there.. is beyond scruffy.. it looks unhygienic :X"
- "i'm sure he'd expect a girl to shave her legs :P doesn't change who the person is.. just enhances them :P"
(FYI, she is engaged to a guy with a beard)